Public Delusions
by yaoiFantasy
Summary: complete: yaoi ze/sq -- After being force-fed horrible Sqinoa's by the angel-bi*tch herself. Squall stumbles upon 'Yaoi'', and a certain yaoiGoddess.
1. The Horrible Sqinoa

Public Delusions  
1: The Horrible Sqinoa

**by:** Julie - yaoifantasy**  
date: **September, 2002**  
rated: **R for nudity, lime-yaoi, language, and Squall/Rinoa fake pairing

**pairing: **Zell + Squall, along with other _fake_ pairings

**dedicated to: **Pogi12. Thanks for the awesome idea, my boy! I hope this is sorta how you wanted it. *hugs*

**disclaimer:** If I actually owned FF8, I'd be working on remaking the game into yaoi form. Since I don't, I have to settle with writing the fan fiction stories that some of you read. One day, I'll remake the game. Yaoi FF8, yes! I have a dream today! And it will come true. 

**important note: **_yaoiGoddess_ is not me. It's the embodiment of all great yaoi authors that I've read. Other names in this fic (IE: _darklion_ and _pink duck_) are based off of actual writers around fanfiction.net But none of the author names below are actual pennames that I've found.   
This is a slight parody, making fun of bad fictions, bad writing, OOCness, and sqinoas. It also praises good writing and fictions. But it is an actual story.

* * *

_"My dearest love. How I long for you, need you, wish to be with you. I can't imagine a day without you, a night without you. I must tell you everything that goes on in my mind because I know you deserve to know," Squall said, wrapping his arms around the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his entire short teenage life. _

_She was exquisite, in her dark beauty. The raven feathers on her head brushing over the pale flesh of he cheeks._

_How he loved her. Everything about her. The voice she used when she spoke to him, the way she tossed her hair over her shoulder, he body - curves all so enticing. How he loved to touch her milky flesh._

_"I love you, love." Squall said, holding Rinoa tightly in his arms as tightly as possible._

_Rinoa batted her eyelashes sexually. Her hands pushed up Squall's chest to his face where she grasped him and pulled him into a deep, passionate, sexual, loving, needing, longing, desiring, wet kiss. _

_Squalls hands moved to Rinoa's ass. He squeezed the round cheeks and every molecule of blood in his body rushed like a tidal wave too his crotch where he got the biggest har-_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Squall chocked on his breath. He stared at the computer screen. Mother of fucking Hyne.

He glanced over his shoulder to Rinoa, who was smiling brightly. 

"Isn't it cute?" she said, wrinkled nose, arms behind her back. "Searching around online I found it! Whatcha think?"

Squall moved slowly as he forced his head to turn back to what could only be described as horror. The perky girl patted Squall's shoulder lightly before Squall hear her soft giggle.

"There are a lot of stories!" she explained. "You should read more. Angel Wing is a great author! She's the one that wrote that little ficcy you're reading now." Rinoa's hand reached past Squall and pointed to the screen. Her hand then disappeared from Squall's line of vision.

"I promised Selphie I'd meet her in the Quad to help with the play, but don't stop!" Rinoa said. "I'll be back later and we can read together!"

Squall didn't look back. Didn't bother because with Rinoa it was useless. She was off floating on clouds with an imaginary Squall-boyfriend. She had a lot of delusions. And now, seeing this story actually posted and reviewed with _praise_, Squall realized Rinoa wasn't the only was with delusions.

Who the hell were these people, writing about his life? Writing about him having a sexual relationship with Rinoa Heartilly? People think he loves Rinoa?

The sound of a door closing signaled Rinoa had left the room. Squall slowly moved his hand to the mouse, pointing and clicking the [Back] button to get out of the story.

He read over the title and summary of the Fan Fiction he'd just partially read:

Willing To Talk, by _Angel Wing_   
**summary**: _Its a Sqinoa! Cant think of a summary, so just read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_  
**warning:** _Too cute to be real! but is! :)_  
**rated**: _Fluffy_  
**reviews**: 1038562

Squall shook his head. How many of these Fan Fictions were there? Hyne, how many people were so delusional to think that Squall wanted Rinoa in any remote sense?

Scrolling down the browser window, Squall's stomach tightened. Apparently a lot of people thought Squall wanted Rinoa - in _every_ sense.

A sneer formed on Squall's face, and everything inside him just ached. It was weird, to be so disappointed by pretend stories, but Squall was. Completely disappointed, and he almost felt dejected. Disgusted. It was just wrong! With... Rinoa?

Squall was about to close the window when something caught his eye.

Surrender to Passion, by _yaoiGoddess  
_**summary**: _Two months after defeating Sorceress Ultamecia, Squall is unable to keep up the charade of being with Rinoa. Too many sleepless nights have been devoted to one thought: him._  
**warning**: _yaoi, angst, sexually graphic scenes_  
**rated**: NC-17 smut  
**reviews**: 11

Squall mouthed the word _him_. Blinking up, Squall glanced around the room. He was in his own private dorm room, but he couldn't help checking to see if anyone was there. It was, naturally, empty.

Squall looked back to the screen, hand to mouse, the pointer moving to click the title hyperlink.

* * *

Zell walked down the hallway of the dorms section of Balamb Garden. Selphie had just finished bitching him out for spilling paint all over the stage floor. It hadn't been his fault, though! Seifer was the bastard that had come up behind him and scared him!

Seifer, that bastard. Because of him, Zell had been kicked off the play project, wasn't allowed to help design the scene. It wasn't exactly fun taking orders from Selphie, but it had been fun painting the scenery. Gave Zell something creative to do in his spare time. Not to mention that Selphie had, before - not now - actually asked Zell to help with a little of the script.

Seifer was just a great friend to have around. Sarcasm, yes.

Zell kicked the carpeted floor, sighing. He now had nothing to do for the rest of the afternoon. Well, he could go to the training center and beat the fuck out of monsters. That meant he'd do it alone because everyone else was down at the Quad.

Except, Zell hadn't seen Squall at all. Anywhere today, actually.

Deciding he should go find Squall, to annoy the Prince of Ice, Zell turned from the direction towards his own dorm room to check Squall's.


	2. yaoi Fiction Fun

Public Delusions  
2: yaoi Fiction Fun

**by:** Julie - yaoifantasy**  
date: **September, 2002**  
rated: **R for nudity, lime-yaoi, language, and Squall/Rinoa fake pairing

**pairing: **Zell + Squall, along with other _fake_ pairings

**dedicated to: **Pogi12. Thanks for the awesome idea, my boy! I hope this is sorta how you wanted it. *hugs*

**disclaimer:** If I actually owned FF8, I'd be working on remaking the game into yaoi form. Since I don't, I have to settle with writing the fan fiction stories that some of you read. One day, I'll remake the game. Yaoi FF8, yes! I have a dream today! And it will come true. 

**important note: **_yaoiGoddess_ is not me. It's the embodiment of all great yaoi authors that I've read. Other names in this fic (IE: _darklion_ and _pink duck_) are based off of actual writers around fanfiction.net But none of the author names below are actual pennames that I've found.   
This is a slight parody, making fun of bad fictions, bad writing, OOCness, and sqinoas. It also praises good writing and fictions. But it is an actual story.

* * *

_Sweet passion. _

_His lips, like candy, were nearly too much. And the soft caresses of his hands moving down. Down towards the aching desire of Zell's crotch._

_Squall's cold fingers gently pulled the zipper to the blonde's pants down, unbuttoning the jeans before moving his palms to Zell's hips. Carefully, slowly, Squall pushed the thick material from Zell's body._

_The cool air soon blessed Zell's hot skin, sending a shiver up Zell's spine. But the cold was quickly washed from Zell's body as Squall's leather hand pushed into his box-_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Squall?" Zell's voice startled Squall. Startled Squall to the point that the brunette lion nearly fell out of his chair.

Squall blushed immediately, looking in back of him. But Zell wasn't there. Yet the voice came again:

"Eh, Squall?" 

"Yes," Squall replied, but his voice was too airy. Squall cleared his throat and tried again. "Yes, Zell?"

"I'm bored," Zell said, and Squall had now recognized that Zell was behind his dorm room door. "Selphie kicked me off the play project, so I ain't got anythin' ta do!"

Squall pushed up from his chair, his nerves back into their normal places, the awkwardness quickly washed away. He headed to the door to let Zell in. When he opened the door, the blonde's wrinkled-nose smile formed.

"Nice boxers," Zell said with a grin.

Squall looked down, realizing that he was only wearing his black boxers and his normal white t-shirt. Oh, that's right, Rinoa had dragged him out of bed to read that horrifying _thing_. That Sqinoa. Blah.

Squall looked back up, raising an eyebrow while giving Zell a bored expression.

"Whatcha doing?" Zell asked with a bounce.

Squall sneered. 

"Aw, c'mon," Zell pouted. "I ain't got nobody else ta annoy! Please let me bug you!"

Squall sighed, stepping back to let Zell in. The moment Zell was in the room, the blonde turned towards the computer because he noticed it was on. That's when Squall remembered what he'd been reading.

Squall didn't panic. He simply closed the door then headed to the computer himself. Squall pushed past Zell, not looking hurried, reaching his office chair. Sitting down, Squall casually clicked the [Back] button, the main Fan Fiction listing coming up. Now Squall could pass this off as something Rinoa had annoyed him to do.

Zell lightly leaned down on the back of the chair, looking over Squall's shoulder.

"Fan Fictions," Zell said to himself. Then: "Hey! They're 'bout us!"

Zell turned his head to look down at Squall, who was now looking up.

"Rinoa gave me the URL," Squall said with a small shrug. "Wanted me to look at them."

"Oh," Zell said, pushing up from the chair. He stepped up next to Squall, leaning backwards to Squall's desk. "Anythin' interesting?"

"You could say that," Squall replied with a blank face.

"Really?" Zell said, standing straight. "Can I read them with you?"

"You wouldn't be interested," Squall replied, holding back an embarrassed smile. He wasn't so lucky with the blush, but at least it didn't make him too red. 

"I don't have anythin' else ta do," Zell repeated the line that had got him into Squall's dorm room.

Squall sighed. Just because he would be reading fictions with Zell didn't mean he'd have to show Zell the yaoi ones. So Squall nodded towards the chairs at the table in the middle of his room.

"Get a chair," Squall said, moving his office chair to the side, giving up space for Zell.

A moment later Zell was positioned next to Squall, eyes locked on the screen.

"Which ones 'ave ya read?" Zell asked.

"Um-" Squall started.

"Romance!" Zell purred with a smirk.

Squall realized at the top of the page it said _RL Balamb: Romance_. He turned his eyes to Zell, only to be greeted with a wrinkled-nose smirk. 

"Reading aboutcha and Rinny?" Zell said.

"Ew," Squall said before he could stop himself.

Zell raised his eyebrows, laughing lightly. "Guess not."

"I read... a few," Squall said. "They're..." Squall closed his eyes, cringing. "horrible."

"Oooh! Show me!" Zell said, smiling brightly.

Squall opened his eyes to frown at Zell. Zell's expression was bright, interest completely devoured.

"Fine," Squall said, moving his hand to the mouse.

'What's RL stand for?" Zell asked, watching Squall scroll over the page in attempt to find a fiction.

"_Real Life_," Squall recited, settling on a story - the selection was large but they were all one nightmare after another. He's just settled on a random nightmare.

"Oh, cool," Zell replied.

Squall sat back in his chair, turning to look at Zell. But Zell's eyes were already glued on the computer screen, completely focused in reading.

Squall sighed, turning to read the fiction himself.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_A Lion's Angel  
by Grievers_Gril _

_She was his angel. With her fairy white feathers and black hair. The deep eyes that burned into Squall's soul. Those eyes that made Squall talk. Broke Squall down to be hers._

_"How are you?" Rinoa asked Squall, him holding her in his arms. They were laying in bed together, close, wrapped together after a night - their first night together - of sex._

_"Happy." Squall replied with a smile. "You've made me so happy, and there isn't anythin else that would make me happier."_

_Rinoa pushed her lips to Squall's._

_"Glad you've opened up to me," Rinoa replied, watching Squall intently - lovingly. She did love him. She couldn't imagine anyone more important to her then the man who'd saved the world. The man who saved her life countless times. And she made him open up to the world around._

_He owed her._

_"Make love to me!" Rinoa said, wrapping her arms over Squall's shoulders then pulling him down on top of her. "Take me!"_

_"Of course, my most beautiful beauty," Squall replied, pushing into her._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Hold up!" Zell yelled, sitting back. 

Squall looked over to Zell.

Zell was sneering at Squall. "What is wrong wit you?!"

Squall sat straight, frowning. "That's not me," he said defensively.

"Please tell me ya ain't readin' that," Zell said, still sneering. "Not of your own freewill."

Squall shook his head. "I started one because Rinoa wanted me too. Then I started a few others to see if they're all that bad."

Squall glanced to the computer screen before returning his gaze to Zell. "The sad thing is... this," he nodded with his head to the monitor. "is one of the better ones."

"Ew, gross," Zell said as he shook his head. "Get rid of it!"

Squall held in a smile as he moved his hand to the mouse, then back-clicked to the main romance section.

"So, that's what you're doin' in your room?!" Zell said, still completely disgusted. "Reading about you and Rinoa?"

"No, I try to stay away from Sqinoas," Squall replied.

"...Sqin-oas?" Zell repeated.

Squall shrugged. "It's the fan fiction term for the pairing."

"What other romantic _pairings_ are there that you'd read 'bout?" Zell asked, expression slightly worried but for the most part blank.

"There are some about you and Quistis," Squall replied. He hadn't read any, but he'd seen the summary of a few of them.

"Seriously?" Zell asked, shocked.

Squall nodded. "Some with you and Rinoa, even."

Zell paused, his face looking green. "Ew sick..."

"Spend most of your time just laughing at them," Squall said softly, attempting to cover up that he hadn't read any of _those_ stories. 

Zell looked unconvinced.

Squall used his right hand to motion towards the computer screen. "Pick something to read."

Zell paused a moment to continue looking at Squall. Zell then reached over, in front of Squall, and put his hand on the mouse. Scrolling the screen, Zell tried to find something that might be at least a little more interesting then that _A Lion's Angel_. His eyes settled on:

Choose Me!, by _Zell's Girlfriend  
_**summary**: _Zell is dating Peggy (library girl). But Quistis confesses her love to Zell. Who will Zell choose?_  
**warning**: _angst, suicide_  
**rated**: R  
**reviews**: 103

Zell clicked on the title then sat back to read. Five minutes later Zell was clicking the back button, wondering if he'd be able to sleep tonight.

"She that obsessed with me?" Zell asked, looking over to Squall. Zell then noticed the look on Squall's face. 

Squall blinked away the story, turning to Zell. "Um? I hope not?" Squall managed to reply.

"That was a lot of blood," Zell said, eyes glazing over.

Squall just nodded.

"Poor Peggy, killed herself over me," Zell mumbled.

"At least you had Quistis?" Squall said softly, watching Zell's expression.

Zell sneered, still in his glazed over state. He shook his head to snap out of the memories the fiction had blessed him with. Glancing to Squall, Zell allowed his sneer to grow.

"Ew! Could you picture it!" Zell said, disgusted. "Me and Quissy? Yuck!"

"Better then me and Rinoa," Squall replied. "And at least _Zell's Girlfriend_ can write!"

"Yeah, so well I'm gonna have nightmares over Peggy's bloody dead body banging on my dorm door tonight!" Zell replied, eyes wide.

"Want to try a different author with the pairing of you and Quis?" Squall asked.

"Um no!" Zell replied, raising his eyebrows to emphasize his apprehension. "Let's read something else. I'm grossed out enough."

"What then?" Squall asked.

"I donno, we can just scan through the list," Zell said. He reached across Squall's chest again, moving to grab the mouse. Scrolling down the screen their eyes read over some of the stories. 

Squall stopped Zell's hand, smiling brightly (brightly) at one of the fictions. He glanced to Zell, who was giving him a blank look. Squall pointed to the screen.

The Blackness, by _Pink Duck  
_**summary**: _Seifer is completely depressed, finding life back at the garden difficult. Can Zell help him?_  
**warning**: _yaoi, angst_  
**rated**: NC-17  
**reviews**: 22356

"So?" Zell asked with a frown.

"It's yaoi, Zell," Squall replied, trying to control the smile.

"What's that mean?" Zell asked, but the expression on Zell's face signaled that he at least had an idea - from the way Squall was acting.

"Homosexual relationships," Squall answered, still attempting to control the smile.

Zell was silent. He blinked, eyeing Squall for a moment then turning to the computer monitor. He studied the words before turning back to Squall once more. Zell swallowed.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Zell asked.

"You and Seifer, little one," Squall replied, half smiling.

"That's jus gross," Zell said, dead serious. Squall laughed softly, but Zell didn't even crack a smile looking at Squall. "No, no," Zell insisted. "That's nasty! Who'd write something like that!"

"Pink Duck?!" Squall said, laughing a little more.

"Pink Duck?!" Zell repeated the name, still serious. "What kinda demented name is that?!"

Squall couldn't look at Zell. He turned away, covering his eyes with his left hand as he continued to softly laugh.

"Man, your laughing, but it ain't funny," Zell continued. "This person is sick! Me and Seifer! Ew, that bastard! He's the one that got me kicked off of the play project today!"

Squall put his hand to his mouth, looking back to Zell. Zell glared.

Squall dropped his hand. "We should read the fic."

"Oh - my - god!" Zell said plainly.

"You don't want to?" Squall asked, his eyes sparkling at Zell.

Zell thought for a second, then noticing the smile on Squall's face. "No!" Zell quickly said.

"You sure?" Squall pursued. "Not at all?" Squall smirked.

"You _know_!" Zell started, glaring still. "you're supposed to be saying _Whatever_ and letting me laugh at the Sqinoas!"

Squall continued his small smirk.

"It's rated NC-17," Zell protested. "Probably got me an' Seifer humpin... oh my god... I jus said those words in a sentence..." Zell grimaced.

"And in great _humping_ detail," Squall said with a nod.

Zell frowned at Squall.

"No even curious?" Squall asked plainly.

Zell bit into his lower lip. "Okay," he finally said. "Let's... read Duck's work."

"Pink Duck," Squall correcting, moving his hand to the mouse and clicking the title hyperlink.

"Yeah, yeah," Zell muttered. "So... yaoi means gay sex?"

"It's an acronym for the Japanese phrase _Yama nashi, imi nashi, ochi nashi_," Squall said as the story-page loaded. He turned to Zell. "Which means _Without climax, without meaning, without... _" Squall noticed the weird look Zell was giving him. "_resolution_. What?"

"You know that why?" Zell asked.

"I looked up Fan Fiction terminology earlier," Squall said, attempting to look casual about it. His eyes turned to the computer screen.

"You read yaoi before?" Zell asked, keeping Squall from the story.

"A... few," Squall answered, trying to start the story.

"Wow!" Zell said, surprised. "They weird?"

Squall turned his attention from the computer screen. "Not really. Interesting would be the word I'd use."

Zell sneered a curious expression. "_Interesting_, huh?"

"Yes," Squall answered quickly, looking back to the monitor.

Zell turned his attention to the screen himself, starting the fiction by Pink Duck.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_THE BLACKNESS  
BY PINK DUCK_

_Seifer POV..._

_I've been in love with him for as long as I can remember. My tauntin was because I couldn't get his attention any other way. He was to perfect, and I unable to show him how much I wanted him. I'm not worthy of him. Not worthy of those blue eyes looking at me, of his smile. All I can get is anger from him. But I'll take what I can get. So I push him to the point where he explodes, and laugh. Laugh to hide the fact than I'm completely turned on, walking around with a hard on most of the time I'm around him. And he just looks so cute when he's all mad, pouting and glaring. Everything about him, I only want more. I don't know why I started to love him like I do. But its true love and-_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"This sucks," Zell said with a sneer. "Seifer fucks with me because he wants to fuck me?" Zell turned to look at Squall. 

Squall shrugged. "Skim down?"

"Yeah," Zell said, sighing slightly.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Fujin was right. I had nothing left to lose, because I didn't have anything left. If I tried to get Zell to like me, if I was nice to him, he'd realize I love him. I've always loved him. So all I have to go is start showing him how much he means to me. Because we never really got along, but he's just so damned cute. So I feel in love with him-_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Zell grabbed the mouse from Squall and scrolled down further. "Kay, there's gotta be something interesting somewhere! It's me and Seifer getting in on! C'mon dumbass writer!"

Squall smiled at Zell, but the blonde didn't notice. Squall turned his gaze from watching Zell's intent expression, to the monitor. 

"Oh wait up!" Zell said, releasing the mouse. "Look at this... Seifer getting beat up."

Squall turned to the computer screen, but Zell was reading out-loud.

"_The fist hits me in the stomach and I fall. Watery mud splatters up_ - Kay now! It's sunny and all of a sudden there's mud?" Zell looked to Squall with an unimpressed sneer before turning back to read. "_I'm unable to defend myself. My only thoughts are on Zell and how he could betray me like this_."

Zell paused, sitting back in the chair. Then he read: "_Tears in my eyes, mud over my clothes, bruises and cuts everywhere. I am defeated. Attempting to look at my attacker I see_," Zell paused again, this time to snort-laugh. "_Squall standing over me. "Stay away from him!" Squall yells at me. I begin to sob_."

Zell couldn't continue. Not that there wasn't more of the story to read, but Zell couldn't stop laughing. His eyes were clenched shut, body jolting in laughter.

Squall turned to watch Zell, smiling to himself. As if perfectly on cue, Zell's squirming laughter caused him to tumble out of his chair and onto the floor. Squall laughed loudly then quickly clasped his hands over his mouth.

"Ow!" Zell said in a pout. 

Squall stood and looked over the chair where only Zell's foot now sat; seeing the blonde sprawled on the ground. Zell was holding the back of his head with his right hand.

Zell met Squall's gaze, watching in silence for a few seconds until he started to laugh again. "Seifer got his ass _kicked_!" Zell said with a laugh, attempting to get up. 

Squall walked around the chair to help Zell up.

Once standing, Zell put his hand on Squall's shoulder. "Thanks." 

Squall shrugged.

"No, for beating up Seifer," Zell explained.

Squall smiled, shaking his head.

"Really! And beat me up too," Zell continued, taking his hand back. "Slap some sense into my dumb ass!"

Squall walked back to his chair and sat down again.

Zell took his chair, snickering a few times at the computer monitor.

Squall sighed, putting his hand on the mouse to scroll down the page. A few lines after Seifer got his ass kicked, Zell was there comforting Seifer. Squall stopped scrolling there to read again.

Zell looked at Squall, laughing softly - still amused by Seifer getting beat up - before he turned to read as well. But he couldn't mange that much, getting disgusted by the story.

"Please," Zell said softly, turning to look at Squall. "No more, huh?"

Squall turned and smiled a small grin at Zell. "You don't want to see Seifer and you have sex?"

Zell wrinkled his nose. "Honestly, yeah," Zell admitted. "But not this..." Zell glanced to the computer screen, then back to Squall. "It's horrible."

"You were just laughing," Squall commented.

"Seifer got his ass kicked, of course I laughed," Zell said with a grin. "But damn, baby," Zell continued. "The rest of this is... dumb."

"Alright," Squall said, back-clicking out of the fic.

The main _ RL Balamb: Romance_ page came up. Squall scrolled down the page, looking for other Zell/Seifer yaoi fics. 

"You've been reading fics all morning, huh?" Zell asked Squall.

"Yeah," Squall replied, not really thinking. His eyes were locked on the monitor, searching out a better writer for the yaoi pair.

"Let's read somethin' ya thought was good," Zell suggested. 

Squall blinked, slowly turning to Zell.

Zell small frowned. "You've been readin' all morning and ain't found nothing good?"

A knock on the door interrupted them. Zell turned his frown to the door, where the expression turned into a glare.

"Who is it?!" Zell snapped.

"Tell Squall to stop blowing you," Seifer's voice growled back. "Selphie wants him down at the Quad."

Squall pushed up from the chair and headed across the room. Zell bounced up and followed.

Opening the door, Squall was greeted with Seifer's leering grin. Seifer reached forward to Squall's chin, cupping Squall's face and running his thumb over Squall's lips.

Squall pulled back, listening to Seifer say "Didn't spill a drop of cum."

"Ew, you sicko!" Zell snapped.

Seifer snickered at Zell then turned his attention back to Squall. "C'mon, lover. Selphie wants you down at the Quad."

"Why?" Zell asked for Squall.

Seifer sighed, looking at Zell. "Listen, Chicken Wuss, why don't you just jack off until Squall comes back? He'll be back soon enough to fuck out whatever brains you have left."

"Hey!" Zell snapped. He shoved Seifer. "Go away!"

Seifer stepped back, pretending to be shocked and hurt. "Damn you!" Seifer snapped, looking as though he was about to cry. "Cheating on me with Squall, and now abusing me physically! Why do I put up with you?"

"Seifer," Squall grumbled.

The cry-expression vanished from Seifer's face as he looked at Squall. "Oh, yeah. I'm here for a reason."

Zell snickered.

Seifer turned to Zell, glaring momentarily. Squall stepping out of the room pulled Seifer from Zell. Seifer grabbed Squall's arm, raising an eyebrow. Squall looked at Seifer blankly.

"You going like that?" Seifer asked, taking his hand back.

Squall looked down, seeing he was only in his boxers and t-shirt. He's forgotten again. Sighing, Squall looked back into his room. He didn't feel like getting dressed. Turning to Seifer, Squall sneered.

Seifer laughed, shrugging his trench coat off. He handed it to Squall, which Squall took slowly.

Zell started to step out of the dorm room, but Seifer's hand on his chest stopped him. "Selphie said to make sure you didn't come back."

Zell's mouth opened, shocked.

Seifer shoved Zell back into the room then reached forward to the door and slammed it shut. Zell stumbled backwards then caught his balance. He sneered, glaring angrily at the closed door.

"Fucking dickhead," Zell muttered, allowing himself to glare a while longer before sighing at the stupidity of his glare.

He turned slowly, looking around Squall's room. Huh, he was in Squall's room - alone. Certainly a first. Zell smirked at that, eyeing the room. But before his mind got set on snooping through Squall's belongings, Zell's attention focused onto the computer.

Temptation easily won over and Zell headed over to the desk. He took Squall's office chair, putting his hand to the mouse. He scrolled down the screen, looking for another yaoi Seifer/Zell fic. 

Zell wasn't attracted to Seifer. Sure, the guy was hot, but Zell couldn't see anything into why he'd date the guy. Of course, the tattooed blonde was right now thinking over the little confrontation he'd just had with Seifer. The yaoi fic had stated that Seifer acted like that because he secretly loved Zell.

Zell snorted at the though. Too stupid. Seifer was just a bully and liked to tease Zell to watch the blonde blow up. And not for any sexual motive, Zell thought as he tried to reason how why Seifer wasn't attracted to him. 

Of course a few minutes after staring in a glazed over state at the monitor, Zell was desperately trying to find a reason Seifer wasn't interested.

"Oh fuck," Zell said to himself, blinking out of his trance state. "What if he is?"

Zell's eyes fell to the keyboard, looking blankly at the keys. 

"Ew, that's... gross," Zell said softly. Though he actually liked it more then he was verbally willing to admit. 

Moments later, Zell's mind was trying to reason to him why he didn't go on a date with Seifer - if Seifer asked.

Sitting tall, Zell realized what he was thinking about . "Ew! Fuck!" Zell yelled in the privacy of Squall's dorm room. "Urgh!"

Zell turned his attention back to the monitor, glaring at the fan fictions.

"You assholes!" Zell snapped at the words. "Look at whatcha made me _think_! Ew, ew, ew! You perver-"

Zell stopped talking, his mind turning from worrying about Seifer to the yaoi fiction on Squall and Irvine.

"Aw, hell naw," Zell muttered to himself, grabbing the mouse and clicking into the story.


	3. What's wrong, Lover?

Public Delusions  
3: What's wrong, Lover?

**by:** Julie - yaoifantasy**  
date: **September, 2002**  
rated: **R for nudity, lime-yaoi, language, and Squall/Rinoa fake pairing

**pairing: **Zell + Squall, along with other _fake_ pairings

**dedicated to: **Pogi12. Thanks for the awesome idea, my boy! I hope this is sorta how you wanted it. *hugs*

**disclaimer:** If I actually owned FF8, I'd be working on remaking the game into yaoi form. Since I don't, I have to settle with writing the fan fiction stories that some of you read. One day, I'll remake the game. Yaoi FF8, yes! I have a dream today! And it will come true. 

**important note: **_yaoiGoddess_ is not me. It's the embodiment of all great yaoi authors that I've read. Other names in this fic (IE: _darklion_ and _pink duck_) are based off of actual writers around fanfiction.net But none of the author names below are actual pennames that I've found.   
This is a slight parody, making fun of bad fictions, bad writing, OOCness, and sqinoas. It also praises good writing and fictions. But it is an actual story.

* * *

Squall held Seifer's coat tightly around himself, asking to himself if it would have been so difficult to put some pants on. But that would have meant he'd have to stay dressed upon returning to his dorm room. Because Zell was there. 

Squall couldn't just toss off his pants, it would have been weird. So instead Squall was standing in his boxers and Seifer's jacket in the middle of the Quad. Good choice.

Seifer wrapped his arms around Squall's waist, hugging him tightly.

Squall squirmed, pushing out of Seifer's arms.

Seifer smirked, raising an eyebrow. "What's wrong, lover?"

"Stop it," Squall said in a low snap. He shook his head, turning his line of vision to the stage. He was supposed to be watching how Selphie's little stage set up worked. Selphie was excited and had wanted to show Squall. Stupid reason to be dragged down here, but Selphie was bouncing around like an ecstatic bunny.

Sometimes the little things are the most important. So Squall stood there, barefoot, pretending to be impressed - to some degree.

Seifer caressed Squall's cheek, the brunette jumping again.

"Nervous today," Seifer said with a chuckle. "What? Were you and Zell actually doing something?" Seifer raised an eyebrow. "Don't want to cheat on the little Chickie?"

Squall shot a hard glare at Seifer, but knew his cheeks were flush. Squall turned back to the stage, pulling Seifer's coat tighter around himself. His reward was the strong scent of Seifer's cologne filling his nose.

Squall jumped as something poked his side. He turned yet again to glare at Seifer.

Seifer smirked. "Jumpy."

Squall tried to ignore Seifer, but the blonde pinched Squall's side through the coat.

"Stop flirting with me," Squall said, his voice airy. He held back a cringe at the way he'd spoke.

Seifer's smirk widened. "Aw, is it bothering you that much?" Seifer asked before saying "Or is it that you don't want me to know you like it?"

Squall eyed Seifer before retorting with "Whatever." and nervously looking back at the stage.

It wasn't unusual for Seifer to be flirting with Squall. The brunette was use to it. Except after reading yaoi fictions most of the morning, Squall was uneasy.

Normally Squall was able to ignore Seifer (and Irvine when the cowboy flirted, which he did - a lot). Right now, Squall kept thinking about the smut scenes, the love confessions, and the wonderful feeling the fics gave him when he'd read them.

It was stupid to get so much enjoyment out of reading something like a fic on his own life - a made up version of his life. But Squall had enjoyed it, obviously. He'd spent the morning reading them. Would have spent the whole day, but things had interrupted him. The better written and detailed storylines in some of the fan fictions were so good, Squall had actually wished it was real. 

Back in reality, Squall hoped Seifer didn't notice that Squall _was_ gay. Had been gay since Squall was 12.

Seifer smirked at Squall, shocked momentarily. "Wow, Squall!" he said loudly. "Is there a little something I should know?"

Squall turned his head to look at Seifer, frowning. He was about to say something when Selphie interrupted.

"Seifer!" her loud voice boomed. "Keep your hands to yourself and your mouth shut! Poke at Squall after I'm finished with him!"

Seifer put his hands into his pants pockets, smirking but staying quiet.

"So, Squall!" Selphie continued to yell from where she stood on the stage. "So far, you like it?"

Squall hadn't notice a damn thing that the stage could do. He'd been too woven in worrying about Seifer. "Yes," he answered.

Selphie beamed.

* * *

"Gaw!" Zell grumbled, clicking out of the second Squall/Irvine fic. "I should beat up Irvine."

Zell sat back in the office chair, arms crossed and a glare on his face.

"That dick!" Zell grumbled. "Squall wouldn't want his lame suede ass."

Zell got the mental image of Squall fucking Irvine up the ass. He shivered, wincing in disgust. 

Uncrossing his arms, Zell covered his eyes with his palms. 

"God damn it," he grumbled, forcing the image away.

Dropping his arms, Zell looked back at the monitor. He was about to just look for more Seifer/Zell fictions to get grossed out by when a fic caught his attention.

Artificial Love, by _yaoiGoddess_**  
summary**: _Zell has found love in Squall's arms. Every night they make love; every day they distance themselves from one another. War breaks out across Gaia, Seifer leading the wave of chaos. Zell and Squall are torn apart before they have a chance at true love. Will they be able to reunite?_  
**warning**: _yaoi, angst, death, romance, sexually graphic scenes_  
**rated**: NC-17 smut  
**reviews**: 39411

Grabbing the mouse, Zell moved the arrow to the title hyperlink and clicked into the story.

* * *

Squall moved his hand to his forehead, rubbing his old wound. He'd been out here for two hours. At first Squall had to deal with Seifer's flirting, but Seifer had gotten distracted when Rinoa started bitching at him to fix a stereo - the stereo Rinoa dropped.

Seifer cussed at her for being a dumb bitch, she bitched at him for being an asshole. Then Seifer knelt down in attempt to fix the stereo. He was distracted for a while when Irvine came over and tried to help. Irvine had only managed to break something, which Seifer barked at him for. Irvine then walked away to go flirt with Quistis.

Selphie danced around on the stage, trying to get trap doors to work and to get the curtains to fall down correctly. Most of the things with the stage took six tries before they actually worked. Then Squall had to pretend to be impressed.

Rinoa came over and asked Squall about the fan fictions, which Squall shrugged off as though he hadn't been interested. 

And that was how Squall had spent the last two hours.

"And that's everything!" Selphie announced to Squall.

Squall dropped his hand and looked up. Had he heard correctly?

"So you can go now," Selphie said with a nod. "Thanks for watching, Squall."

Squall shifted, hugging Seifer's coat to himself. "Um, okay." Then he turned and started out of the Quad.

"Wait!" Seifer called, jumping up from the stereo he'd still been working on.

Squall stopped and frowned at him. 

Seifer crossed the Quad, then frowned back at Squall. "What?" Seifer snapped.

"What do you want?" Squall asked.

"My jacket," Seifer growled. 

"Oh," Squall said softly, looking down at the coat he was clinging to himself. Looking back up, Squall saw Seifer's smirk.

"What, you think I wanted something else?" Seifer said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh shut up," Squall said halfheartedly as he turned to walk back to his room.

Seifer laughed, stepping up next to Squall.

"Seriously, lover," Seifer purred. "You look kinda flush. Something you want to tell me?"

"No," Squall grumbled in a low voice.

Seifer chuckled, shaking his head. He could push Squall a little more, but Squall looked pissed enough. Besides, Seifer would let Squall calm down a little for when he's take his coat back.


	4. yaoiGoddess

Public Delusions  
4: yaoiGoddess

**by:** Julie - yaoifantasy**  
date: **September, 2002**  
rated: **R for nudity, lime-yaoi, language, and Squall/Rinoa fake pairing

**pairing: **Zell + Squall, along with other _fake_ pairings

**dedicated to: **Pogi12. Thanks for the awesome idea, my boy! I hope this is sorta how you wanted it. *hugs*

**disclaimer:** If I actually owned FF8, I'd be working on remaking the game into yaoi form. Since I don't, I have to settle with writing the fan fiction stories that some of you read. One day, I'll remake the game. Yaoi FF8, yes! I have a dream today! And it will come true. 

**important note: **_yaoiGoddess_ is not me. It's the embodiment of all great yaoi authors that I've read. Other names in this fic (IE: _darklion_ and _pink duck_) are based off of actual writers around fanfiction.net But none of the author names below are actual pennames that I've found.   
This is a slight parody, making fun of bad fictions, bad writing, OOCness, and sqinoas. It also praises good writing and fictions. But it is an actual story.

* * *

Zell's lower lip trembled as silent tears fell down his face. His blurry vision locked on the monitor as he sat in shock at the ending of the fiction by yaoiGoddess called _Artificial Love_.

Raising a gloved hand to his face, Zell harshly wiped away the tears. He glared at the screen, feeling his chest tighten. His throat was swollen, and he was having trouble breathing.

Zell sobbed hard, bringing both hands up to his face, crying into the leather.

"That bastard!" Zell cried, elbows on the desk, face buried in his hands.

His whole body hurt, his chest aching as he tried to hold back the sobs.

Zell dropped his arms, looking through tears at the computer screen again. That only induced more pain and sobbing.

Zell leaned forward, wrapping his arms around himself as he cried. His body shivered and he felt empty inside. Opening his eyes to look at the monitor again, Zell glared angrily. 

"It ain't right," Zell cried softly. "No, why!"

He forced himself out of the chair, hugging himself as he crossed the room slowly, his steps heavy from the tears.

The handle to the door turned and the door pushed open.

Zell turned, wiping his face off harshly. He sniffled, watching Squall taking off Seifer's coat, Seifer snagging the coat before Squall dropped it.

Squall looked up, eyes widening at the sight of Zell crying.

"Zell," Squall said softly.

Seifer stood straight, shocked at Zell's tears.

"You okay?" Squall asked gently, stepping forward.

Zell fumbled his hangs together, face cringing in sadness. Then he shook his head, sobbing as he brought his hands back to his face.

Squall rushed forward, taking Zell into his arms. Zell melted into the embrace, holding Squall tightly. Pressed to Squall, Zell opened his eyes and glared angrily at Seifer. 

"You fucking asshole," Zell growled through his tears at Seifer, holding Squall tighter. "I hate you!" Zell sobbed, closing his eyes and pushing against Squall.

"What'd I do?" Seifer asked, honestly hurt.

Zell turned away, burying his face in Squall's neck. Squall looked to Seifer, blinking. Seifer frowned. 

"You little bitch! Stop fucking around!" Seifer snapped.

Zell pulled up from Squall's arms, leering at Seifer. "I hate you!"

"Seriously?" Seifer asked, eyes slightly side.

Zell frowned, tears still falling down his face. "Fuck you," Zell said plainly before turning back and grasping tightly to Squall again.

"What'd I do?" Seifer asked again.

Zell held Squall tightly, the brunette rubbing Zell's back as he softly cried.

"I didn't touch Squall, Zell," Seifer said in all seriousness. "Is that... He told me to fuck off. I just came back to get my jacket. I wasn't trying anything."

Squall raised his eyebrows at Seifer, surprised that the large blonde had come to that conclusion. Then Squall felt Zell's nails digging into his back through the cotton shirt, Zell trying to hold Squall as close as possible.

Seifer stepped forward, attempting to look at Zell's face. "I wasn't trying anything."

"Just leave," Zell muttered from his place at Squall's neck.

Seifer stepped back, watching Zell then glancing up to Squall. Squall blankly looked back at Seifer. Seifer then turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Squall pushed Zell away from him - just enough to look down at Zell's misery consumed expression.

"What's wrong?" Squall asked, moving a hand to wipe away tears from Zell's cheek.

Zell slowly reached up to caress Squall's cheek gently, tears drying, lower lips bitten. 

"Um," Zell said softly, eyes locked with Squall's. Then Zell lowered his gaze to Squall's chest, unsure of what to say.

"What happened?" Squall asked softly. "Why're you so upset at Seifer?"

Zell moved his hands to the bottom of Squall's shirt, fingers lightly caressing over the cotton hemline. 

"I, um," Zell started. "You see," he tried, but the memory of the end of the fiction washed over Zell. Again, he felt empty and heartbroken. Zell started crying again, but found himself back in Squall's arms.

Zell breathed in Squall's scent, his lips brushing over Squall's neck. He calmed himself enough to back slightly. He then mumbled "You died."

Squall pulled back from Zell, looking down at the blonde's tattooed face.

Zell blinked then looked up. "In the fic I just read... you died."

Squall smiled a small grin.

Zell stepped back from Squall, eyes locked on the carpeted floor. He felt the blush burning on his cheeks.

"Seifer kill me?" Squall ask, he assumed so.

Zell nodded, still unable to look up.

Squall's smile widened, stepping to Zell. He gently pulled Zell into his arms, hugging Zell. Zell hugged back, closing his eyes and pressing himself against Squall's body.

"You're so cute," Squall whispered, laughing softly. Then he wondered how Zell would interpret his words.

Zell just sniffed, his tears drying up again.

"You saw the look on Seifer's face?" Squall said, lips brushing against Zell's ear.

Zell laughed softly, still slightly teary.

Squall pulled back so he could smile down at Zell. "He looked so worried."

Zell smiled, stepping back from Squall while wiping off his face with the back of his hand.

"Hyne, I'm stupid," Zell grumbled, shaking his head.

"No, what?" Squall said, pulling Zell back to him.

"Yelling at Seifer for somethin' he didn't do," Zell said softly. "Crying because you died." Zell caressed his fingers over Squall's chest. "but you're jus' fine."

"It's cute, Zell," Squall said with a smile. "Must have been a good story, huh?"

Zell sniffled, turning his gaze from Squall's chest to look up into Squall's eyes. "Um, yeah. It was pretty long."

"Which story," Squall asked, wanting to read it.

Zell shrugged. 

"Can't I read it?" Squall asked, hands on Zell's shoulders.

Zell sneered, shaking his head. "You don't wanna."

"Why not?" Squall asked softly, frowning down.

Zell stared up into Squall's eyes before he finally said "Cause it was yaoi."

"I've read yaoi before," Squall replied, raising an eyebrow. "Most of the morning... I showed it to you. Why can't I read it?"

"Cause it was about you an' me," Zell said plainly, watching away. 

Squall smiled at that. "Who wrote it?"

"Um, yaoiGoddess," Zell answered.

Squall nodded. "Of course," he said. "It's pretty much all she writes: you and me. Good author."

Zell's eyes widened. "You read yaoi about me and ya?"

Squall's smile faded. "So? Didn't you just now?"

Zell paused, looked over Squall's body then looked back up. "Read some with you an' Irvine, too."

Squall sneered. "That's gross."

Zell smiled, nodding. "It was! I wanna beat up Irvine now." He laughed. "It was just wrong."

Squall smiled. He grabbed Zell's hand, saying "Show me the fic."

Zell pulled his hand back. "No! It'll make me cry again!" 

"Alright," Squall said softly, watching as Zell frowned then the blonde's eyes began to water.

Zell sniffled, feeling himself about to cry. "Damn it!" Zell said, moving his hands to his face. He couldn't get rid of the story's end. Squall sacrificing himself to save Zell's life, throwing himself onto Seifer's gunblade to prevent it from falling into Zell's body. Squall's chest had exploded when Seifer pulled his gunblade trigger. Squall's body was mangled. And Seifer had laughed.

The _night before_, Squall had asked Zell to marry him. The night had been spent making love, being with each other, having each other. They were finally completely committed to each other, no more hiding their love. Squall admitted his love wasn't artificial, begging Zell to spend the rest of his life with him.

Wonderful description of emotions, feelings, and the details of how Squall and Zell had touched each other. It filled the story, page after page. 

The Real-Life Zell had fallen in love with it. Had fallen into the world, astonished in the end when Squall died. And the last words from the story-Squall: _I'm sorry_. Real-Life Zell nearly screamed at that. There wasn't anything for Squall to be sorry for! It was Seifer! That bastard had ruined everything, destroyed true love. 

The story-Zell had held Squall's dying body, unable to even cry because of the pain. And then when the tears did come, they came when the story-Zell was in his old bedroom - the bedroom he's shared with Squall. The night before making love to Squall, now the sheets cold and empty. Forever that way because Squall would never be able fill them.

Real-Life Zell was now crying his eyes out in front of Squall again.

Squall swept Zell up into his arms, holding the misery struck blonde as he cried. Zell's fingers pulled on the back of Squall's cotton shirt, tears wetting Squall's neck, his lower lip trembling.

Squall smiled, kissing Zell's temple while running his a hand lightly over Zell's blonde hair. He then nuzzled his cheek to Zell's, hugging Zell.

Zell pulled back from Squall, his eyes swollen from crying. Silent tears fell down his face, cherry lips pouted.

Hands on Zell's hips, Squall caressed his fingers over the jean material, smiling warmly at the blonde. Zell's hands glided up Squall's chest, moving to caress Squall's neck before Zell pulled Squall down into a kiss.

Squall's eyes widened, Zell's tongue pushing into his mouth.

Then Zell pulled from Squall, stepping back and looking up at Squall with unsure eyes.

A knock on the door interrupted what Squall was about to say - if anything. 

Zell sniffed, turning to look at the door. Squall's eyes studied Zell for a second longer before looking at the door as well.

Zell was the one that stepped forward to answer it. Squall walked after Zell, but kept a slight distance. The door opened, Seifer standing there. He looked at Zell with concern.

"What do you want!" Zell barked angrily.

Seifer held out a single white rose to Zell. Zell frowned a confused expression but accepted the gift.

"I'm sorry, Zell," Seifer said with an odd sort of earnestness. "I wasn't trying to steal Squall from you."

Zell clutched the rose in his hands, reddened eyes locked on the white petals. He then looked up to meet the sea-blue gaze.

"I promise," Seifer said.

Zell blinked, a tear falling from his right eye. He felt a lot better, but the story had mauled him emotionally. Squall's arms had helped Zell calm down, but then Zell kissed Squall. So right now, Zell's head was spinning.

"Yeah," Zell muttered back.

"Don't be mad," Seifer said. "Squall wasn't interested anyway. Far as I can tell, he wants you. Only you. It's been that since he first saw you. So, don't think I was trying anything with him."

Zell blinked at Seifer. He didn't really dare say anything for fear he would scream out in an astonished tone _You think Squall wants me?!_

Seifer then attempted a sweet smile while stepping back. He nodded to Zell before turning and leaving the scene. He was uncomfortable standing there with Zell's angry eyes burning at him.

Seifer hadn't meant it! He'd just been playing with Squall. And Seifer had always honestly thought Squall was more interested in Zell then anyone else noticed. Except it now looked like Zell and Squall had a secret relationship - at least as far as Seifer could tell. And he felt bad about making Zell so upset. He'd just been flirting.

Squall had always looked at Zell, done whatever Zell asked. They were best friends, inseparable. Seeing one normally meant seeing the other. And Squall would always shrink away to Zell's side if Rinoa came over to flirt. Actually, Squall would shrink away to Zell's side if anyone came over to even speak to Squall.

Zell also got very mad at Seifer (and Irvine) if they started flirting with Squall. Zell would glare at Rinoa and make a few muttered comments about her, but never really got into her face. Maybe it was to save-face, their _fag hag_ bitch?

Seifer shrugged his thoughts away, heading back to the Quad to fix the radio the bitch dropped.

* * *

Zell closed the door after Seifer stepped back. He blinked at the door then turned to look at Squall. Squall was a deep crimson, eyes worriedly locked on Zell.

Zell stayed quiet, eyes attempting to read the Ice-Prince's face. He then glanced down to the rose in his hands, thinking over a few things. Looking up, Zell attempted a small smile.

"You like me?" Zell asked softly.

Squall breathed, eyes studying Zell's smile. Then Squall said "_You_ kissed _me_."

"Yeah," Zell agreed. "I liked it." He stepped forward.

Squall didn't move back, but he didn't step to Zell either. He just watched Zell carefully.

"Can I kiss you again?" Zell asked, sapphire eyes sparkling. He took another slow step forward.

Squall watched Zell silently before he closed the final gap between him and Zell, hands moving to Zell's cheeks, pausing before he lowered his mouth to Zell's.

Zell wrapped his arms around Squall's waist, kissing back. It felt amazing to have Squall kiss him. The empty feeling inside Zell, caused by the mauling fiction, slowly began to fill. 

As Squall's hands moved down to the bottom of Zell's shirt and pushed under the material, Zell dropped the white rose Seifer gave him. Zell let go of Squall, helping Squall strip off his jacket and shirt. Zell then grabbed Squall's cotton shirt and pulled it off. Their arms wrapped around each other, hands pushing into skin, nails digging hungrily.

Zell's entire body shivered as Squall's mouth moved to his neck. Squall sucked on Zell's smooth skin, teeth biting, tongue caressing.

Zell pushed Squall back with his body, urging the brunette to the bed. 


	5. Details in History Books

Public Delusions  
5: Details in History Books

**by:** Julie - yaoifantasy**  
date: **September, 2002**  
rated: **R for nudity, lime-yaoi, language, and Squall/Rinoa fake pairing

**pairing: **Zell + Squall, along with other _fake_ pairings

**dedicated to: **Pogi12. Thanks for the awesome idea, my boy! I hope this is sorta how you wanted it. *hugs*

**disclaimer:** If I actually owned FF8, I'd be working on remaking the game into yaoi form. Since I don't, I have to settle with writing the fan fiction stories that some of you read. One day, I'll remake the game. Yaoi FF8, yes! I have a dream today! And it will come true. 

**important note: **_yaoiGoddess_ is not me. It's the embodiment of all great yaoi authors that I've read. Other names in this fic (IE: _darklion_ and _pink duck_) are based off of actual writers around fanfiction.net But none of the author names below are actual pennames that I've found.   
This is a slight parody, making fun of bad fictions, bad writing, OOCness, and sqinoas. It also praises good writing and fictions. But it is an actual story.

* * *

Zell woke after a few hours of sleep. He stretched, still laying down. The bed was soft, blankets big and comforting. Zell smiled, breathing in the delicious scent of Squall. 

He sat up, seeing the only light in the room was the computer screen. Zell bit his lower lip, looking at the partial silhouette of Squall - elbow on desk, chin in palm, right hand on the mouse as he read.

Pushing the warm blankets off of his body, Zell slipped out of bed. He quietly crossed the room, not bothering with any clothes. Reaching to where Squall sat, Zell noticed Squall hadn't bothered with clothes either.

Zell put his hands on Squall's shoulders, watching Squall jump. Zell laughed softly, leaning down and wrapping his arms around the brunette's shoulders, hands caressing Squall's neck.

"Whatcha reading?" Zell asked.

"yaoiGoddess's _Eternal Slumber_ trilogy," Squall said softly. "I read that fic that made you cry, you'd left it open: _Artificial Love_. ... It was..." 

Zell smiled, kissing Squall's cheek. "Sad, huh?"

Squall closed his eyes, putting his hands on Zell's arms. He pushed back into Zell's embrace.

"I'll never leave you," Squall said softly. "Leaving you alone like that. Not ever."

Zell squeezed Squall then pulled back. He stepped around to the front of Squall, moving to sit on Squall's lap. Zell's chest was pressed to Squall's, legs hanging on either side of Squall's hips. Zell cuddled close to Squall, laying his head on Squall's shoulder.

"You can see?" Zell asked, making sure he didn't block Squall's line of sight. 

"Yes," Squall replied softly, one hand wrapped around Zell's waist, caressing Zell's back softly. Squall's other hand was on the mouse, scrolling down the browser window to read more.

Zell smiled to himself, laying in the complete comfort Squall's embrace.

"Selphie was crying about how Irvine messed up painting that lion-drawing you did," Squall said. 

Zell sat back, eyes wide in rage. "Irvine _what?!_" 

Squall blinked. "Irvine - he didn't paint your drawing very well," Squall said, using a softer tone this time.

Zell's rage vanished replaced with a pout expression. "Damn it!" Zell whined. "Mother fucker... I spent forever drawin' that!" Zell thought back to the life-sized lion he'd drawn on one of the backdrops for the stage.

"I think maybe Selphie wanted you to come back and fix it," Squall said, it had been the reason he brought it up. Since Zell had been whining about how he'd been kicked off the project, Squall figured Zell would love a reason to go back.

"Man," Zell grumbled. "How dumb!"

"You're not gonna fix it?" Squall asked, hiding his smile.

Zell sneered. "Course I'll fix it! After I beat the crap out of Irvine."

Squall laughed softly, pulling Zell's body back to his. 

Zell continued to sneer, but he snuggled close to Squall. Squall's fingers lightly caressed the bottom strands of Zell's blonde hair.

After a moment of silence, Squall blinked up from reading, wondering something.

"You thought about why these people know so much about our lives?" Squall asked, frowning at the words on the screen.

Zell sat back, looking at Squall. Then he glanced over his shoulder to the computer screen.

"Like this," Squall said, highlighting a couple paragraphs.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Zell had buried his face in my crotch. Going to rescue him, I'd been desperate to see him, but finding him on his knees in front of me was shocking. And arousing. Then his face nuzzled me between my legs. I hadn't known what to do. The girls were right behind me, and we were in danger. But momentarily I hadn't been able to think of a reason to push him away._

_I had, of course. My reward was his bright, smiling face - his sapphire eyes burning up at me. I hoped he hadn't noticed my hard on. Doubt he didn't, but I hoped._

_My cheeks flushed a moment later when Selphie asked me if Zell was that important to me - running ahead the way I had in order to rescue him. Zell beamed at Selphie's comment, looking smug. Of course I wasn't sure how to react to that. But the bullets came and I hadn't had time to say anything._

_We dove for cover._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Zell sneered, looking back to Squall. "Um?"

"I really should read the History books about us," Squall said softly, eyes locked on the computer screen. "If they're printing that you shoved your face into my crotch, I've someone to talk to."

Zell smirked, wrinkling his nose. "Yeah. I didn't even do that!"

Squall blinked, turning from the screen. He raised an eyebrow at Zell. "You didn't?"

Zell blushed. "Didn't bury my face!"

"No?" Squall asked.

"Well," Zell tried. His blush darkened.

Squall waited in silence.

"Alright!" Zell confessed. "Alright, I did. But you had a hard on!"

Squall's eyes widened a moment. It was his turn to blush.

Zell smirked. "I'd thought it was the adrenaline. Maybe not?"

"Whatever," Squall said in an airy voice, turning back to the computer screen.

Zell laughed softly. He stood from Squall's lap, turned around then sat down again. Squall's arms wrapped around Zell's waist, giving Zell the control of the mouse.

"It's kinda weird, ain't it?" Zell asked, scrolling up to the top of the chapter's page. He glanced over his shoulder at Squall. "After reading these fics about us, we kinda fall into it. ... Well, ya know?"

Squall smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"Ain't like I haven't always had a crush on you," Zell said, looking forward once again. He bit his lower lip, not reading the words on the screen. "Cause I have. Just didn't have the nerve to tell you."

Squall hugged Zell tightly.

"I've had a crush on you too, Zell," Squall said, nuzzling his cheek against Zell's shoulder.

Zell smiled, focusing his eyes to the words. He then noticed the author's forward note. In it there was a link to fan art different people had done for the story.

"Ah!" Zell squeaked. "Fan Art of us!"

He moved the arrow to the link and clicked. The page loaded a listing of Fan Art with the page title: _Eternal Slumber Trilogy_. Zell smiled and moved to click on one of the fan art links. A page popped up, second later the picture completely loaded.

Zell sneered, blinking. "I look like a girl," he said, noting the hips, small wrists, smooth jawline, and lack of muscles in the picture of him. "Ah! I'm a girl!"

Squall laughed, looking past Zell to the computer screen.

"I look good," Squall said, smiling. The picture drawn of him was a more muscular version of himself, highlighting details of a stern face, broad shoulders, and taller then he really was. It was certainly a highly exaggerated picture of him into more of a Conan-look.

Zell glanced back, raising an eyebrow. 

Squall's smile faded. "No?"

Zell laughed softly. "Baby, you don't look like that," Zell said. "Besides, I wouldn't want you to. All big like that. You're way hotter the way you are now."

The smile reformed.

Zell turned back to the screen and closed the picture's window. He scrolled down to another artist, opened it only to find another _girly_ picture of himself.

"Urgh! What the hell?" Zell groaned loudly. "People think I'm a girl?!"

Squall caressed the bottom of Zell's stomach. "They just think of you as _Chickie_, that's all."

"AH!" Zell cried, closing the window. "Damn Seifer!"

Squall laughed softly.

Zell pouted, looking at the list of pictures. Did he dare open another window?

Squall hugged Zell, nuzzling his cheek to Zell's upper back. "Draw a picture of us yourself," he suggested, moving his chin to Zell's shoulder.

Zell sat tall, eyes widening at the idea.

"I should!" Zell agreed. He bounced up from Squall's lap, turning to smirk down at the brunette. 

Squall looked up. 

"You can pose for me," Zell said, moving his hand to caress Squall's cheek. Then Zell pushed Squall's nose, pulling his hand back quickly. "What do ya say?"

A small smile formed on Squall's face. "Guess," he said, though the idea sounded all too enticing.

Zell smiled brightly, turning to go get pants on. He'd have to go back to his bedroom to get his drawing supplies.

"You going right now?" Squall asked, turned in his office chair to face Zell.

Zell looked to Squall as he pulled his jeans on. "Take maybe five minutes."

Dressed, Zell crossed back to Squall, leaning down to kiss him. Pulling up, Zell brushed his thumb over Squall's lips. 

"Read s'more," Zell said. He then smirked. "I'll be back to tie you to the bed soon enough, baby."

Squall smiled as Zell turned then walked to the door. Squall twirled his office chair back to face the computer, scanning to find where he'd left off reading.


	6. Binder of Stuff

Public Delusions  
6: Binder of Stuff

**by:** Julie - yaoifantasy**  
date: **September, 2002**  
rated: **R for nudity, lime-yaoi, language, and Squall/Rinoa fake pairing

**pairing: **Zell + Squall, along with other _fake_ pairings

**dedicated to: **Pogi12. Thanks for the awesome idea, my boy! I hope this is sorta how you wanted it. *hugs*

**disclaimer:** If I actually owned FF8, I'd be working on remaking the game into yaoi form. Since I don't, I have to settle with writing the fan fiction stories that some of you read. One day, I'll remake the game. Yaoi FF8, yes! I have a dream today! And it will come true. 

**important note: **_yaoiGoddess_ is not me. It's the embodiment of all great yaoi authors that I've read. Other names in this fic (IE: _darklion_ and _pink duck_) are based off of actual writers around fanfiction.net But none of the author names below are actual pennames that I've found.   
This is a slight parody, making fun of bad fictions, bad writing, OOCness, and sqinoas. It also praises good writing and fictions. But it is an actual story.

* * *

The next morning Seifer sat in the cafeteria. Selphie was grumbling about the backdrop to the stage. Maybe she's been too hasty in kicking Zell off the project, he was almost as excited about it as Selphie. And, Selphie looked at Seifer, he had been the dick that scared Zell.

Selphie sighed. 

"I'm sorry," Irvine said softly to her.

"Just shut up," Selphie growled. "That lion was awesome. Now it's ruined."

"Yeah," Rinoa agreed. "What kinda dumbass colors a lion's main green?"

Irvine glared at her. "It was a mistake! I wasn't paying attention and I thought it was a bush!"

Rinoa snorted, shaking her head.

"Shut up," Seifer snapped at her. "You're lucky I fixed that stereo. Who just drops a stereo they'd been holding for five minutes. It was so light I could have held it with one hand!"

Rinoa glared at him. "Fuck you."

"Fuck me?!" Seifer repeated. "Listen you little bitch, I wouldn't-"

"Zell!" Selphie's loud voice interrupted.

Zell and Squall were walking into the cafeteria. Squall was carrying a binder or something.

Zell smiled at Selphie, waving a _hello_ back.

"Squall!" Rinoa said, beaming as Squall walked over. "You said you'd read more fan fictions last night, did you?"

Squall hugged the binder and drawing pad he hand in his arms tightly. He nodded to her, walking to the other side of the table to sit between Selphie and Seifer. Zell sat next to Squall, on Selphie's side.

"Which was your favorite?" Rinoa asked.

Seifer looked at Squall then down to the binder and drawing pad before looking back up. Squall glanced to Seifer then hugged his belongings tighter. Turning back to Rinoa, Squall paused.

"_Circle_ was really good," Squall said. He'd said a title to a yaoi fiction written by yaoiGoddess, but he didn't think Rinoa would know.

"Oh," Rinoa replied, oblivious. "I should read it!" She smiled.

Squall nodded. Yes, she should. It was a fiction about Zell and himself in an AU universe. Futuristic setting, space ships, etc. It had Squall's complete attention. yaoiGoddess promised a sequel. Squall hoped she'd write it soon. 

"A lot of that author does is good," Squall continued. "By another author, darklion, I liked the fiction _Night Whispers_. _Ending_ by Void is another good one." He knew he'd spoke a lot. He'd done it on purpose. 

"Wow, okay," Rinoa said, but her tone was a little unsure.

Squall bit back a smile.

"Whatcha got there, Squallie!" Selphie said, leaning past Zell to meet Squall's eyes.

Squall let silence fill the table briefly before he said "Stuff."

"What kinda stuff?" Selphie asked with a smile.

Zell moved to take his drawing pad saying "Here, let me have my sketches." 

"Notes," Squall answered Selphie's question. He released the drawing pad to Zell, pulling his binder back to his chest.

Selphie sighed, giving up trying to converse with Squall.

Zell reached into the pocket inside his jacket. Removing a 2B drawing pencil, opening the sketch book to about the middle of the pad. He didn't want to show off the previous sketches..

"Notes on what?" Seifer asked Squall.

Zell didn't snap at Seifer, so apparently he wasn't mad anymore. Seifer held back outward relief.

Squall's reply was stopped when the Intercom called Selphie to the front office.

Selphie sighed, standing up and leaving the table. Rinoa jumped up quickly.

"Wait," Rinoa said, heading after Selphie. "I had an idea on the play."

The two girls walked away.

Squall set down his binder on the table then moved to shrug off his coat.

Irvine was about to ask Zell what he was doing, but then Irvine noticed Squall's wrists. He frowned at Squall but the frown washed away when he glanced over to Zell. Smirking Irvine looked at Seifer.

Seifer was taking a drink of his soda. He blinked at the smirk on Irvine's face. Putting his soda down, Seifer mouthed _What?_

Irvine nodded carefully to Squall. The brunette's eyes were glazed over, finger tracing over the binder absently.

Seifer saw the rope burn on Squall's wrists.

"So," Seifer said softly, looking up to Squall's face. "What do you have there, Squall?"

Zell stopped drawing, leaning forward to look past Squall at Seifer.

"Man," Seifer growled at Zell, frowning deeply. "you are not still mad at me."

"Whoever said I was mad at ya," Zell said, turning back to his drawing. He licked his lips. "You haven't any idea why I was upset last night."

"You mean why you were balling you eyes out," Seifer snapped back, purposely saying that in front of Irvine.

Zell looked up to Irvine, frowning at the wide-eyed look. Zell shook his head turning back down.

"Well, you don't know," Zell snapped in a low tone. "So jus' shut up."

"Guess you and Squall talked a lot, huh?" Seifer asked, raising an eyebrow.

Zell frowned, turning to look at Seifer again. Seifer motioned to Squall's wrists. 

Squall felt his heart pound between his ears, blood rushing to his face. He stared down at the obvious rope-burn. His lower lip quivered, him looking up to meet Seifer's smirk.

"Wow," Seifer said, still smirking. "Can't believe it. Really?"

Squall looked away, down to his binder. 

"Mind your own," Zell grumbled, turning to draw again.

"Damn!" Irvine said loudly, eyes wide at them. "You guys gonna come out as a couple?"

The three men looked to Irvine. He's spoken fairly loud. Some of the cafeteria - most of the cafeteria - was looking their way.

Irvine sunk down into his chair slightly, looking worried.

"I donno," Zell said softly, looking back down to draw more.

Squall turned to look at Zell then he turned back to Seifer and Irvine. "We're not announcing it to the school, but yes we're together."

Zell smiled.

"And Rinoa?" Seifer asked. He knew Squall wasn't even remotely interested, but the girl has a lot of delusions.

"Think if I fuck Zell in front of her she'd understand?" Squall asked softly.

Zell blushed but didn't look up. Irvine laughed loudly. Seifer chuckled then shook his head _no_. 

"So you two are tying each other up already?" Irvine asked.

Squall turned his gaze to Irvine, looking blankly. He then cracked a small smile, nodding.

Irvine and Seifer laughed.

"Damn Squall," Seifer muttered.

"What's in the binder?" Irvine asked.

Squall quickly grabbed it, hugging it to his chest. 

"What's in there?" Seifer asked. "Notes on different positions?" 

Irvine laughed, shaking his head.

"No," Squall said softly. "It's my favorite fan fictions. And other stuff."

"You like something Rinoa told you to do?" Seifer asked, raising an eyebrow.

Squall clutched the binder, eyes locked on the table in front of him. 

"I don't think Rinny meant to give Squall _that_ to read," Zell said, looking up from his sketch of a lion.

"_That_?" Irvine and Seifer repeated together.

Squall paused a moment before smirking. "Yaoi."

Seifer frowned. But Irvine said "Why's that sound familiar?"

Squall looked up to Irvine. "Figures you'd know."

"I don't though!" Irvine defended.

"What about Yuri?" Squall asked.

Irvine's eyes lit up in realization. "Slash!" He smirked, leaning forward and pointing to the binder. "You've got Slash in there? Squall!"

"Slash?" Seifer asked.

"Smut stories," Irvine said, laughing.

Squall turned to his right, looking at Seifer. "It's my binder, no you can't see."

"RL smut," Zell corrected in a plain voice. "All yaoi. Most are angst. Canon and AU. One really cool AH. yaoiGoddess wrote it, everything she writes is amazing. That fiction _Ending_ by Void is a great Epic Genfic. He said he'd write a sequel soon." Zell turned to Squall. "You print out the Parody _If_?"

Squall shook his head. "Just printed out three fictions. After that my printer's ink was about gone. I should print it in the main library using that scanner printer."

"What?" Seifer finally said, looking confused.

Zell blinked at Seifer, Squall turned to look at the blonde.

"You were talking another language there, Zell," Irvine said.

Zell turned to Irvine.

Irvine shook his head. "I'm not even gonna bother asking, cowboy."

Zell smiled. "Sorry."

"Well, let me see," Seifer said, reaching for the binder.

Squall held it tightly. "No."

Seifer smirked. "C'mon, lover! Let me see!"

"It's Balamb RL," Squall said softly.

"What's that mean?" Seifer asked.

"RL," Irvine mumbled, trying to remember if he knew what that meant.

"Real life fics based on us," Squall mumbled.

"They're about us?!" Seifer said. "Now you've got to let me see!" He tried for the binder again.

"They're yaoi," Zell said. "I think Squall only printed out the Squells."

"It's the _Eternal Slumber_ trilogy," Squall said, holding the binder.

"Show me!" Seifer insisted. "C'mon, please love?"

Squall set the binder down on the table. "Fine," he said softly. He opened the binder, flipping past the lined paper with his notes on them.

"What's that?" Seifer asked.

Squall blushed. "Shut up," he said, flipping past the notes into the Fan Art section. He's printed out some of the really good Fan Art of himself and Zell, and a few of some of his friends.

"Wow!" Seifer said, stopping Squall from flipping past the section. He pulled the binder to him, looking at the art. Irvine slide over so he was sitting next to Seifer.

"Damn," Irvine said softly, head cocked to the side at the picture.

Squall blushed. "Zell's are better."

The two men looked at Squall.

Zell didn't look up from his lion-sketch, but he smirked.

Squall held up his wrists for Seifer and Irvine to see.

"Man, he ... drew you?" Seifer asked.

Squall nodded, motioning back to the binder. "Keep flipping. If you're gonna read the story."

"What're you taking notes on?" Seifer asked, slowly flipping through the fan art.

"Nothing," Squall said.

Seifer frowned and turned to flip back to the notes. Squall grabbed his hand, frowning. 

"Alright, I'm gonna write one, okay?" Squall said, a blush filling his cheeks.

Seifer smirked. "Really?!"

Squall nodded.

"On what?" Irvine asked. "I mean, beside the obvious." Irvine smirked.

"It's an AU," Squall said softly. "Don't worry about it."

Seifer laughed, moving to flip into the printed fan fiction section.

Squall sighed, turning to look at Zell. 

Zell looked up from the drawing, smiling at Squall. Squall leaned over and pressed his lips to Zell, kissing him lightly before pulling back.

Irvine and Seifer glanced over but quickly looked back down to the fiction in their hands.

Zell showed Squall the lion drawing. "You like?" he asked.

Squall looked it over then smiled, nodding. "It's perfect."

Zell beamed. "Wow, so it's good enough for your tattoo? Or should I-"

"I said it was perfect," Squall said, moving his hand to caress Zell's cheek.

Zell smiled, taking his drawing back to finish shading in a few areas.

Squall smiled then turned back to Irvine and Seifer. They were already completely devoured into the fic. Squall blushed, knowing full well what sort of X-rated details were in that fic. But he just sat back in his chair, folding his arms together, waiting for them to finish so he could hear their reaction to the yaoi smut.

~End~


End file.
